“I get to.”

There are dreams. And there are dreams. I’m slowly watching mine (whether I’ve dwelled on them or not) become my reality. But these days … whenever I have an unwell child and (I say get) to stay home I get a full sample of what it’s like to be a SAHM. And I don’t hate it.

Yes, the laundry and the dishes and the beds and everything demands to be tended to. But I also get to do all that and care for my baby and determine the balance and focus that each thing will receive. When I was home with my youngest, recently, I even got a quiet moment to read my Bible and drank in this gem. (I am so rich in all the areas that matter).

My child was well enough to go out in the evening air with all of us and enjoy a slow baseball game. And he wasn’t even scared of the fireworks—until that last bright sprinkle. Of some fans yelling our randomly? Yes, but that was about it.

And let me tell you about this morning! We all dropped into our pillows exhausted last night but got to sleep in until 8 a.m. or so. The little ones “let” me sleep in, hallelujah!

Then we had a nice full brekky at our dining room table and had sweet conversations. Both big kids volunteered to ask the blessing. My heart about burst.

Of course, it was a whole process to clean up the whole area, wipe up the ‘nana-covered babe, and more–all while a thunderstorm began rumbling loudly outside. The weather definitely foiled our plans to go to the park and then cool off in the pool after. But no. And it was okay!!

If mama ain’t happy . . .

My kids actually thrive when mommy is happy. I recently saw a study that children will be able to balance their emotions and perception of the world efficiently based on how well their mother handles the challenges in her life. (That sure stuck with me!) So if mommy is happy the babies learn how to be adjusted. And if they see mommy and daddy sharing a hug you better believe they will all grab an appendage and squeeze hard, too.

This hit differently for me especially recently because I’ve entered a season of increased stress. But that’s what this blog is all about! I’m determined to live this life with grace and common sense.

Honestly, someone somewhere is wishing they had what I have right now. And to be real? I do too! I don’t want to miss any of these beautiful riches God has given me.

What does perfect even mean?

I don’t know why we get caught up in thinking life has to be perfect. Whether we admit it or not. I know I am very aware–especially in the moment–when I don’t like what is.

But what is perfect? Who is perfect? What does perfect even mean?

No one has an absolutely perfect life. And that is okay because there is just so much loveliness still to enjoy–but it has to be a choice to enjoy them. An imperfect life is beautiful. I mean, my life is perfectly imperfect. But I think it is pretty gorgeous.

I think if more of us were simply content with what we already have right now. we’d love our own lives so much more.

Now, am I living out all of my exact dreams right this very second? Absolutely yes and yet not entirely. And that is okay. I have goals that I would like to reach, some things I would like to accomplish. But in the meantime (this is where it matters) I am content.

Undreamed Dreams

Growing up I would not allow myself to dream about what could be. I was not that girl who had her wedding all planned out in a binder–dream ring, dream dress. No, no. That was never me. I even refused to list out qualities I would want in a husband.

Me? Married? Who would marry me?

If that tells you anything about my self-esteem and confidence. These were things I needed to learn (and unlearn) along the way.

So from my husband to my first, to my second, to my third child, I am in amazement: this is mine?? God gave these precious people to me?? God buried the desire for these things deep within and in His time, He honored the existence.

Unrealized Dreams

Don’t misunderstand me. I love my life. I have no desire to trade with anyone else. But as good as I have it, I do have a dream I’d love to see realized. Next on the docket is to work less outside the home while still bringing in a strong income. (I’m still looking to contribute to the home). Just on my terms.

I would just love to have the flexibility to develop my own consistent home-care routine–more time to plan and prepare my own food, and dare I say also a consistent fitness routine that won’t have to be given up because of late nights, exhaustion, you name it, because of the time spent outside of it.

Time has become so much more valuable to me these days. For many reasons. (And this mama no like to feel robbed.)

What else? To be honest, I don’t want to list out everything I’m aspiring to. I am funny like that, like I think it won’t come true if I say it out loud. But once I’ve achieved these few things, there will be signs.

Unsurpassable Dreams

What God has blessed me with is incomparable to anything I could have come up with on my own. I love my little family, I love where I live, I have the best office team and I get paid to do what I love: write. We have the best pastor, neighborhood, friends who have become family, a Christian education for our kids, and so much more.

Since you’re here. You may get to witness me try a few things. I’ll stumble and fall, I’m sure; but hey, real life, amiright? Welcome to my imperfection. May it be a testament to you.

All these blessings I already have–but honestly even if we had none of these–God is so good. Still so good. He has blessed us more than I could ever think of, ask for, or even deserve.

What a good, good Father He is.