“The Books are Always Better”

A look back to when technology was a necessary evil.

2020. I’m working remotely at home and my oldest is two.

Thankfully he was of the age that can sleep in pretty good in the mornings. So I’d get as much of my hours done before he emerged from his room. Actually, this was when he would call me to get him. He would not come out on his own. He’d come out and enjoy copious bowls of cheerios and milk next to me while I continued to work. I tried to get creative as much as I was able with activities that he could do independently. But by the time I was done for the day, he had been on a device for hours.

So you can imagine when I’ve been seeing this quote floating around on social media these days that says: “When you’re ready to end your child’s childhood, give him a smart phone,” (rough paraphrase) I felt sick to my stomach at the thought. But I am so thankful to say that that dark chapter of our lives is over.

Out of Necessity

Out of necessity I had to keep my son occupied with an electronic device while I worked fulltime at home off of my laptop. It started with Cocomelon playing on the big screen. (That intro song will forever transport me back to this era–although I no longer play this show for my kiddos. You’re welcome to ask me why).

For variety, I handed him my phone to choose whether he wanted “cars and trucks” or Blippi show to cast next. Rookie move. Because it became a battle to get my phone out of his hands in order to answer a text or phone call. Chris and I agreed to order in a special Amazon fire tablet. Caeden and I will always remember the FedEx truck pulling up in front of our house and the delivery guy handing it right to us–since we were outside at the time that afternoon.

This experience of receiving it and the treasure of reading new-to-us books off the tablet to him at night I will always hold dear.

But it all got too much.

One night I looked around our rounded couch at each member of my family and everyone (but me and the baby) had their nose buried in a device of some sort. I felt sick to my stomach and knew something had to change. I was done with the headaches, the meltdowns when it was time to power off, and the feeling of strain among us.

Pieces of wisdom

So how did we do it?

Honestly, I didn’t know that it happened until I looked back. It didn’t happen overnight, of course. So no, I didn’t follow a checklist. Just applied bits and pieces of wisdom along the way that I had gathered.

While I was hashing out what I wanted to write about here I realized it was a series of steps that I followed over time. But not with an end in sight, just small choices I made that was right for that moment.

The main key was the size of the technology. Bigger is better, as it allows the screen to be further and further removed from the person. So instead of handing them my phone, I encouraged them to watch the tablet. Then after a while instead of the tablet, I suggested I turn on a show on the big screen that they would both enjoy. Sometimes I found new things (like you’ll see below) that I found and they ended up loving. (We’re on a Creature Cases kick these days–and I’m not mad about it).

Another thing that helps is communicating expectations. This does not always work out perfectly, but it is helpful to give a 15-minute warning, then 5 minutes later. Or even just saying (if you know the length of the program) say, After this story, we’re going to brush our teeth and then read stories. I mean, why not? I’d like to be given notice if something was going to change for me in the next few minutes. Common courtesy, I call it. Even to kids. They deserve to be treated with respect, too. (More on that another day!)

Now we’re watching sweet shows together.