_{All manner of things shall be well.}

I’ve been listening to this song on repeat these past few days:

^{from Tenth Avenue North’s Reconcile album.}

By no means am I nearing the end of a good, long life. But I know another precious soul that “has graduated” on to heaven and I am reminded that there is an end to all the things.

But when it’s time.

The good things

“These are the days you’ll miss,” I was told the other day. We had the sweetest friend over for Sunday lunch. Her three kids are grown, and she is widowed. When she arrived, I so happened to be on the floor changing my youngest out of his church clothes.

“I was just doing that,” she said, nodding to where I was kneeling, “and then I blinked.”

My babies are at the age where they’re constantly seeking to connect, they’re becoming individuals, and they’re communicating freely–whether it’s pretty or not.

And my heart is wholly invested.

Yet. I think it’s because I’ve already done all the things that they’re newly discovering now–so yes, sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I just want to sleep. But I need to knock myself in the head sometimes to get my brain in gear: Remember what is most important!

And sometimes I need to force myself to put the book down and lock my eyes on them–like they’re begging me to. “Mom, look at me!” “Mommy! Watch this!“

Motherhood is such a conflict of clinging to the moment and feeling homesick for it even while it is happening. So. Many. Emotions.

I read a quote just today that said this:

Parenthood is a journey towards emotional maturity. It’s learning to respond in love when you are hurt, triggered, and overwhelmed.

_{(Sarah Boyd, adapted: Parent Cue).}

And I feel that.

So just as much as I am helping my little people to grow, a version of me is learning how to grow, too. And that is absolutely incredible.

One day [when I am grown] I will miss this. Because today is the day when it was all so simple.

The other things

If there has to be the other side of things, all things do at one time or another come to an end.

Yes, the sweetest things will come to an end–but I already know that, and my mama heart isn’t considering (or isn’t willing to) right now.

But it’s the other things. The things that I do not like today will not last forever. Such as . . . I will not always have a soft body (this has been huge lately–pun not intended). Because in just a few days all the kiddos will be sleeping when they should be, and I’ll be able to go for that therapeutic run, do the strengthening Pilates, and complete a whole weighted workout without being interrupted.

Yes, that time will come again.

But for now, let me be fat and happy. (Speaking to the choir.)

Just humor me.

Often when I am feeling down about something I feel like my whole self takes too much space in the world. As if taking up less space would make everything all better. That doesn’t even make any sense. But to the emotional side of reacting, it’s something that could possibly be controlled. While everything else is out of control.

This verse immediately comes to mind:

Matthew 6:34

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Life gets more involved and more challenges comes as the days go by.

Every day I have the choice to choose not to worry about what is happening outside my four walls. And this is not me burying my head in the sand. The world is crazy and I don’t need to waste any energy on all of that mess, stealing away my care and heart from my little family.

Some posts I see on social media are worded just right that they strike a chord of fear in my heart. It’s usually in the evening while everyone is asleep. Or when my husband is out of town.

So things I’ve had to crack down on myself: one, don’t mindlessly scroll when reading could be done instead; and two, manage an algorithm that doesn’t allow fearmongering to filter in.

This was such a good thing to do!

Unfollow all those profiles that inspire fear and worry and only follow those that post what is true, good, lovely, and of good report.

Why would I want to waste precious time and energy on things that take away from this life God has given?

I mean, read the end of the Book. I know Who wins–in fact, He’s won already. Sure, it’s the crazy little details that are unknown. But I will choose not to get distracted by them.

Life right now is my little family.

And all shall be well.

All manner of things shall be well.