That was the subject line of an email I subscribe to. You better believe I clicked that open right away. And since the day I read the message (it was a Tuesday, I just checked) that line has been playing over and over in my head.
Cuz I felt seen.
You can read her post here.
(Don’t worry, I’ll attach the link again at the end).
Relatable
Why is it stuck in my brain? Because it feels so relatable where I am right now. And it reached me because somehow it felt like someone was putting into words what I have felt from time to time.
Maybe we don’t show it, but once in a while us moms want to (and maybe some actually do?) crawl into a corner and cry our eyes out. I know I have wanted to lately.
This season I’m in is heavy and has challenges I cannot sort out as quickly as I would like. So I have moments where I want to just disappear from it all and let someone else take over for a change.
Don’t misunderstand me–I love my life. My kids are heaven-sent, I adore my home, I don’t hate my job, I have some hobbies I can’t get enough of, and I get to share life with some pretty fantastic people.
But life is hard. I mean, God never suggested it would be easy. So maybe this post–never mind that you haven’t heard from me since April–maybe what I needed to hear is what you’ve been waiting for, too.
Recently, I added a book to my nonfiction TBR called You’re Not Enough And That’s Okay. I need to read it yesterday!
The a.m. POV
Looking back, I can recognize what a strong front I had put on that day.
Every morning–weekday, I might add–the scene is generally the same . . .
The alarm goes off sooner than feels expected. Splash the shower on. Dry off and get ready. Slip quietly through the bedroom to the kitchen (since everyone has gravitated to our room). Turn the knob on to boil water for the coffee. Crack a couple eggs. Sizzles in the pan. Saw off a chunk of sourdough and nuke.
When all is prepared there are usually a few minutes of quiet. Even the sun hasn’t joined me yet.
I blink and then it’s 6:20 a.m. and time to go, go, go.
It’s really not all bad but every time we are finally all loaded, buckled in, and backing out of the garage I am replaying the things that could have gone better. I could have been more patient, kinder, etc.
I mean, I will call out all the good things that happened, like, I didn’t have to request all buckles to be done more than once and things like that. I know how much it means to have the good recognized.
But I don’t love rushing everybody out the door–and even as I drive away, I am already looking forward to when I am pulling back into that driveway and ready to exhale.
Can I be real for a moment here?
In the midst of whirlwind departures like these is when I am haunted by the [seemingly] unreachable wish that I could somehow create a side income that will allow me to not have to do this anymore!
Who knows? Perhaps that day will come.
Enter: Summer
Now that school is out, my kids’ overall routine has relaxed. This switch came right when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore. Welcome to a little bit more time in the morning, one less drop off/pick up (translate: unloading and loading the younger ones), and just an overall feeling of casualness.
While I love routine–I live by it–I do need to switch it up every so often otherwise it gets stale.
I tell you, God knows when I’m clinging to that last thread, and He looks out for me in ways that may only mean something to me. May I never lose sight of that.
Here’s a picture I found on my phone. I didn’t realize that either Caeden or Evvy had snapped this:
Encouragement I found recently
During this past month of May, I wrapped up reading a couple amazing books and started another others. And these things I’ve been reading have become like a river in the desert. Like, I didn’t realize I needed it until they were presented to me–and now I feel like I can’t get enough of it.
Perhaps something will speak to you as well . . .
A colleague lent me a couple books after we were part of a book study and one of the titles was Holy Hygge by Jamie Erickson. This one homed in on the beauty of simple pleasures of home and opening the door for someone who may need some encouragement.
One line that really stood out to me was this:
“Envy conveniently leaves out half the story.”
(p. 155)
And isn’t that so?
Like what I had hinted at a bit earlier, I do wish I could do a bit more financially for my family–but not be a part from them. It is so easy to see what another mom/wife is doing successfully and wonder, is that what I need to be doing?
Maybe not. Everything I am doing right now just might be enough.
Envy is so deceptive.
Another quote I loved by Jamie Erickson was a reference to John 14:2-3. Here are the verses for your convenience:
In my Father’s house are many mansions: if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you.
And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also.
Then she shared a “hygge version” of this verse and that just about broke me. I mean, seriously, read this:
“If you need me, look for me at home. It’s where I’ll be waiting for you.”
Wow, I know that is what Jesus is saying to us. And I want that to be the message my kids sense when they grow up.
Okay, this may be controversial, but I love Instagram. I took some time about a year ago to sift through who/what I was following and removed anything that made me feel less than or dissatisfied with my life. Now the algorithm is next-level addicting (I use this word loosely) as pretty much every post and reel warms, encourages, and inspires my heart. I came across this video and knew I had to share it somewhere other than just stories… It’s by brighterdayspress and simply beautiful.
She prefaces it with this caption: “If I could reach through the screen and hug this woman, I would offer a few bits of encouragement for these precious, demanding little years. Here’s what I’d say…” (You may want some tissues. Just saying…)
And one more amazing resource that has been pouring life into my needy soul is this book I got for my birthday from a sweet couple. When my friend presented it to me (with a homemade latte, no less!) she shared that she and her husband had been reading it together and been highlighting all over the place.
Okay, I am on chapter 3 right now, and I have been marking up so many things! My heart is being molded by the Spirit already!
And what is this book? It’s Paul David Tripp’s Parenting. I literally just started it, but it gets a 10/10 from the first sentence!
A couple quotes that I want to hold on to are these:
“Blow your child away with God’s patience, mercy, and love.”
All day every day I want my babies to know, feel, see, hear that I love them. But what about God’s perfect love? And showing them that? That’s next-level.
And what about this one? Wow…
“No one gives grace better than a parent who humbly admits that he desperately needs it himself.”
This one reaches me because 7+ years into being a mom I am realizing how very unable I am to do this on my own. My love alone is not enough. But with Christ’s? That’s eternal life.
I absolutely adore being a mom. It’s the one thing I was born to do, I truly believe, but that alone is not enough. I need help, I hate to admit–and who gives the best help? My Heavenly Father, who is honestly THE BEST parent that ever was. I am, oh, so thankful for His example.
Thanks for listening. Til next time…
And here’s that link again as promised. Come back and share your thoughts!
Grace + Common Sense 
Leave a comment